CELEBRITY PERFUMES

Yikes!

 I started out wanting to review celebrity frags with an optimistic outlook and a slight hope that I might find, to my surprise , that I actually bonded with and decided to purchase one.  I had an open mind... Sort of.  I have had a closed mind towards celebrity perfumes since around - forever.  Based mostly on the ad campaigns and the occasional whiff of a magazine fold over.

So... this smells like armpit?

So with my generous attitude I ventured out to sample some of these scents.  I went first to Bloomingdales.  I have a dread of department stores almost equal to my dread of celebrity fragrances so I was really giving it my all... Only to find that Bloomingdales can't be bothered with such things.  I had to respect that choice even though I was now faced with having to try another unpleasant venue - Macy's.  I smiled at my mistake. Of course Bloomingdales had try to keep some snob appeal alive even though they lost all snob appeal by 1980 something.  Anyway, off to the everyman store.

Wow, part pirate costume, part fruit salad

Alas, even the Everyman store was too busy trying to look fancy to be bothered with Britney Spears and Kim Kardashian.  Hmm.  Now I'm more than frazzled from having to walk through the ground level of not one but two department stores!  But, I am super curious. Where the Hell does one go to purchase some Katy Perry or Taylor Swift essence?  I had read that people were finding Gloria by Gloria Vanderbilt at Walgreens.  It was getting a lot of buzz because it's an older classic scent and people were finding it for $10 !  I was def into that kind of treasure hunt so I made a beeline for the nearest Walgreens.

"Catch the Fever" from what? The STD causing her to air out her crotch?

The perfumes at Walgreens are kept locked up in a glass case and obviously no sample bottles and scent cards available. Also no Gloria.  Now I was going from generous  and upbeat, to mystified, to just plain pissed off.

What the Hell is even going on here!?

On my way home I passed another Walgreens that looked newer and bigger and I thought I would just peak in and see if Gloria might be there.  No.  No Gloria, but there was a strange vending machine like apparatus for spritzing  a sample of most of the fragrances. And they had Britney Spears Fantasy which I had read quite a few positive reviews about.  So after much fiddling with this bizarre machine and even collaborating with some other customers who gave up and walked away, I finally got a huge blob of Fantasy dumped into the palm of my hand. And , yes, it was atrocious.

This bottle is already giving me nightmares...

 So I am going to let this entire experience validate my original contempt for the currently tanking arm of the perfume industry known as the Celebrity Fragrance.

Why is this an ad?

It's really not that hard...